Peeking Over Fences

You know the statement: “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” Are you peeking over someone’s fence? Whose grass are you envious of? Let’s be honest: as women we often struggle with contentment in many (or ANY) areas! 

It’s kind of crazy when you think about it:

• A single woman longs to be married...a married woman wishes she were single again.
• A woman who has no children longs for children...a mom wishes for the days gone by without the responsibility of raising children.
• A working woman longs for retirement (or any way to quit working)...a retired woman wishes for the busy work-days again.
• A woman living “here” wishes she were “there” again...and then she gets “there” and longs to be back “here”! (Did I lose you on that one?)
• A woman with straight hair longs for curly hair...a curly-haired woman wishes hers was straight!

Now, this is not to imply that a woman struggling in any of the above areas does not love her husband or children...or the fact that she has hair. But can you relate with any of those situations -- or come up with your own? I can!

Too often we spend so much time looking over the fences of others and what they seem to have, or even looking back over the fences of our past, and longing for what we do not have instead of thanking God and enjoying what we do have right now. Just imagine all of the blessings we miss out on when we expend our energy and time thinking and dreaming about the [seemingly] well-cut grass in someone else’s yard that we long for.

The good news is that we can learn to be content, like the apostle Paul who said: “Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am” (Philippians 4:11). Many of us cannot even compare our “trials” to those he faced; yet Paul learned to be content in the most difficult of situations. Certainly we can, too.

If contentment is a struggle for you in your life, first of all acknowledge what area(s) it is a problem for you. Confess it to God and ask Him to teach you how to be content. Ask Him to help you have a proper perspective on your life and to give thanks instead of longing for something else. Here’s an idea: make a list! Write down as many things as you can think of for which you can give thanks in the very thing(s) you are not satisfied (content) with. It may take some creativity, but you can do it! After all, Scripture tells us to be: “always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ...” (Ephesians 5:20). This is one antidote for discontentment. In fact, this is such a good idea that I think I’ll do this myself right now!

Blessings for the Journey,

Rachel
P.S. In 20 minutes I listed 40 items. How about you?

Are You Building or Demolishing?

“The wise woman builds up her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1

One of the ways that we can be either building up our homes, or tearing them down with our very own hands is in the way we relate to our husbands. (Of course, our children apply to this as well, but the husband-wife relationship is on my heart lately.)

Are you (and I!) striving to build up our homes by building up our husbands? Consider your words, your attitude, your actions toward the man God has given to you.

• What kind of words proceed from your mouth more often: those that edify him and build him up, or critical words that tear him down? (see Ephesians 4:29)
• What kind of attitude do you express most often: one of disrespect and disdain, or one of humility, gratitude, and lovingkindness? (see Ephesians 5:20-22; Philippians 2:5-8)
• What actions do you demonstrate to your husband: are you self-focused or do you intentionally look for practical, meaningful ways in which you can show your love to him and put him first? (see Philippians 2:3-4)

I admit to you that my natural tendency is to be the critical, fault-finding wife. But the truth is that each moment I choose to live that way, I tear down my own home, piece-by-piece, with my very own hands. I cannot shift the blame to my husband. 

What about you? Are you making choices that will build up your home, or tear it down?

 If you are married, I urge you to ask the Lord: “Am I making a focused effort to build up my house, or am I somehow tearing it down with my own hands?” You can even go a step further and ask your husband this question (gasp!), or a close friend who sees you interact with your husband on a regular basis. 

As God shows you and I where we are guilty of tearing down our husbands (and therefore our homes), by the grace of God, let’s determine to do it no more. Instead, take those very areas and replace the sin with specific effort to build our husbands up. If you are a believer in the Lord Jesus, then you have the power to please the Lord: the Holy Spirit living in you. Tap into that power! “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh...if we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit” (Ephesians 5:16, 26).

Blessings as you build up your home,

Rachel

Tell of His Wonders

If someone were to ask you, “What is God teaching you lately?” how would you respond? Would you take offense to such a question, or would you welcome the opportunity to share what God is doing in your life? Would you even have anything to share?

I have had just a handful of friends who faithfully ask me that question. Such friends are true gems! They ask me and genuinely want to hear what I am learning, and they willingly share with me as well. Do you have such a friend? Are you such a friend? Maybe it’s time to start asking that question of others, and being willing to share as well.

The question challenges us, don’t you think? Certainly, it may catch us off-guard at first, but then we have to pause and really ask ourselves, “What is God teaching me? Am I learning anything from Him?” In order for Him to teach us, we have to be teachable; we need a spirit of humility before the Lord, a heart open to Him and sensitive to the Spirit as He reveals sin in our lives (sometimes in painful ways!). We also need an attitude of meekness so we can talk about what He is doing in a way that does not come across as pious or prideful. 

If you are a child of God, you can be sure that He is always in the process of teaching you -- about Himself, about your relationship to Him and others, you name it (see for example Psalm 86:11; 119:33-40; 2 Tim 3:16-17). There is always something to share with others. If only we are willing. Are you?

If you do not think that God is teaching you anything right now, then join the psalmist and ask Him to teach you what He wants you to learn -- about Himself, His character, His will, etc. Then dig into His Word and be prepared, because this is a prayer He is certain to answer!

“I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart; I will tell of all Your wonders. I will be glad and exult in You; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High.” (Psalm 9:1)

Share His Blesssings!

Rachel

Who's Your Elmo?

I’m hoping the title to this post will provoke some curiosity. I know I talk about my kids a lot -- especially my 4-1/2 year-old, Eliana -- but who knew I could learn so much from a child? Today, in response to the question, “Don’t you think Elmo is a little annoying sometimes?” Eliana said simply, “No. He’s just the way God made him.”

Now, it’s true that I have to teach my daughter the difference between puppets and humans, but that’s not the point I want to make.

What kind of a difference would it make if we had Eliana’s point of view toward people we know? people we work with? people we come into contact with? 

Of course, I am not referring to tolerating sinful lifestyles and choices (we need to speak the truth in love! see Ephesians 4:15), but sometimes people with personalities that differ from our own can rub us the wrong way. Let it go no further. Remember we are all uniquely created by God for His purposes and His pleasure. Let’s try to appreciate the differences of others instead of being aggravated by them. 

After all, “He’s just the way God made him”...or her!

Blessings, my friend,

Rachel

Are You "In Love"? Part 3

We have come to the end of this brief series on what it means to be “in love,” according to several passages in the book of Ephesians. Ephesians 5:1,2 says this: “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma” (emphasis added).

Once again, here is the picture of a child.  Children are like their parents.  I thought it was humbling to be married, until I had children!  In my experience so far in life, there is nothing more humbling than having a daughter or son.  They mirror us!  In them we see a reflection of ourselves: how we talk, what we say, what we do, how we think and react, even what we value.  As Christians, we are to “be imitators of God as beloved children.”  And one way we can imitate God is to walk (live a life) in love, the way Christ loved us.  

And just how did Jesus Christ love us?  He gave Himself up for us.

Jesus gave Himself up physically as the final sacrifice, the Lamb of God.  Obviously God does not require this of us!  But there are so many other ways He gave of Himself that we can walk in as well:

• By giving others “our” time, rearranging a schedule
• Considering others more important (see Philippians 2:3)
• Putting the desires and interests of others above our own (Philippians 2:4)
• Actively looking for opportunities to serve and minister to others

How about bringing this full-circle, back to Ephesians 4:2?  Every time we respond to others with humility, gentleness, patience, and tolerance (all done for the sake of love), we give of ourselves in some form!  We do battle against our flesh any time we respond in ways that honor God rather than seeking our own honor.

So how is your “love life?”  Honestly, mine could use some improvement!  I continually see areas where I put my desires, my plans, myself above others (yes, again, especially my husband!).  I recognize that I do not respond with humility, gentleness, patience, and tolerance as I ought to.  Praise God for His grace!  While my sin is great, His grace is far greater (see Romans 5:20).  Because of grace, God forgives me and doesn’t leave me where I am at right now.  He continues to change me and make me reflect Jesus a little more accurately (even if I don’t see it, I know He is somehow doing it!).  

May we rest in His grace to forgive, and walk in His grace to change.

Enjoy His blessings,

Rachel

Are You "In Love"? Part 2

A couple of days ago I addressed the question posed in this title.  To prevent you from being confused, if you haven’t read Part 1 yet you should probably do it now!

Today I want to look at another aspect of being “in love,” the way God describes it.  Look at Ephesians 4:14-15: 

“As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ” (emphasis added).

Truth.  Is there such a thing?  Some people think there is no truth, and that the only absolute is that there are no absolutes.  (This is nothing new!  Even Pilate made a similar comment just prior to Jesus‘ crucifixion -- see John 18:38.)  But truth does exist.  Jesus addressed this when, in reference to God the Father, He said, “Your Word is truth” (John 17:17).  The Bible is the source of truth.  

Truth prevents us from being like children.  My sweet 4-year-old believes whatever my husband and I tell her.  It melts my heart (and humbles me), but this also gets my husband into trouble when he attempts to be sarcastic with her!  She can’t think in the abstract.  She just simply believes whatever we say.  It is precious, but we cannot live that way, spiritually speaking.  God’s truth guards us from being like children and believing whatever new teaching we hear, even those in the guise of “biblical doctrine.”  God’s truth prevents us buying into the most popular teachings of the day, or listening to what a person says instead of what God Himself says (through the Bible).  It prevents us from being deceived -- and, oh, how easy it is for any of us to be deceived!  There are so many lies we are prone to believe.

Looking at the context of Ephesians 4, the goal is to guard against false teaching as well as build up one another and help each other grow more like the Lord Jesus.  The method is to speak the truth (God’s Word), and to speak it in love: with humility, gentleness, patience, and tolerance toward others, striving for unity and peace between one another.  (Remember what I mentioned about love in Part 1 of this brief series?)  So much more could be said on this subject; I am barely scratching the surface, but I hope this has given you something to ponder without causing confusion in the process!

Hold onto truth.  Be ready to speak truth and combat deceitful lies by saturating your minds and heart with God’s Word.  May He give us the grace to grow in our ability to filter all through the His truth: our words, thoughts, judgments, perceptions, attitudes, and actions...and be prepared to speak the truth to one another in love.

Rachel

Are You “In Love”? Part 1

It’s not the classic “love at first sight” scenario.  Nor is it defined by flushed cheeks, sweaty palms, and a heart thumping so loudly you are certain others can hear it if you don’t faint first.  It’s not the kind of love that you can “fall” out of, either.  You either walk in this love or you don’t, and it’s your choice.  It’s God’s definition of being “in love.”

After looking at several passages in the book of Ephesians a couple of weeks ago, I challenged myself with that very question: Am I in love?  Of course, I thought primarily of my relationship with my husband: he sees me at my best...and at my worst, which is not pretty and certainly not fun to live with!  We can ask ourselves the same question about every relationship we have: friends, spouse, children, parents, you name it, especially those who are fellow believers in Jesus, part of the family of God.  Are we living and relating to others in love, the way God describes it?

There are many verses in the New Testament that use the phrase “in love.”  (Now there’s another idea for a Bible study: study all passages that use this phrase and compile what you learn.)  In this brief series, I will focus on just four of those verses, all in the book of Ephesians.

Ephesians 4:1-2 provides a context with which we can understand the remainder of the book: “Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love.”  If we are to walk (live) in a way that is worthy of being called a believer in Jesus -- a follower of Christ -- this passage teaches us that four qualities ought to characterize our lives:

• Humility
• Gentleness
• Patience
• Tolerance

Wow!  So much could be said about each of these qualities that I could have a whole separate series!  Just take some time and reflect on each of those and ask yourself if you live in such a way toward others.

Ephesians 4:3 completes the entire thought that flows from verses 1-3: “being diligent to preserve unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”  This caused me to ask myself if I am diligent to preserve peace with others.  Do I humble myself and ask forgiveness when it is necessary, or humbly ask a friend if I sense strife?  These are the kind of questions that came to my mind as I looked at these verses.  

Again, this passage applies primarily to relationships with other Believers.  (The phrase “one another” in verse 2 and “unity of the Spirit” in verse 3 indicate this.)  But the application extends to interaction with anyone; we should strive to cultivate these qualities so that they describe who we are.  I know I am not there yet, but God isn’t finished with me, and as painful as that is at times, I am thankful!

So, the question still remains, are you “in love”?  Don’t stop there: what are you going to do about it?   

More on “love” next time!  Blessings, my friends!

Rachel