Are You Building or Demolishing?

“The wise woman builds up her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1

One of the ways that we can be either building up our homes, or tearing them down with our very own hands is in the way we relate to our husbands. (Of course, our children apply to this as well, but the husband-wife relationship is on my heart lately.)

Are you (and I!) striving to build up our homes by building up our husbands? Consider your words, your attitude, your actions toward the man God has given to you.

• What kind of words proceed from your mouth more often: those that edify him and build him up, or critical words that tear him down? (see Ephesians 4:29)
• What kind of attitude do you express most often: one of disrespect and disdain, or one of humility, gratitude, and lovingkindness? (see Ephesians 5:20-22; Philippians 2:5-8)
• What actions do you demonstrate to your husband: are you self-focused or do you intentionally look for practical, meaningful ways in which you can show your love to him and put him first? (see Philippians 2:3-4)

I admit to you that my natural tendency is to be the critical, fault-finding wife. But the truth is that each moment I choose to live that way, I tear down my own home, piece-by-piece, with my very own hands. I cannot shift the blame to my husband. 

What about you? Are you making choices that will build up your home, or tear it down?

 If you are married, I urge you to ask the Lord: “Am I making a focused effort to build up my house, or am I somehow tearing it down with my own hands?” You can even go a step further and ask your husband this question (gasp!), or a close friend who sees you interact with your husband on a regular basis. 

As God shows you and I where we are guilty of tearing down our husbands (and therefore our homes), by the grace of God, let’s determine to do it no more. Instead, take those very areas and replace the sin with specific effort to build our husbands up. If you are a believer in the Lord Jesus, then you have the power to please the Lord: the Holy Spirit living in you. Tap into that power! “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh...if we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit” (Ephesians 5:16, 26).

Blessings as you build up your home,

Rachel